Biggest CP I've Ever Seen

"jkm7680" (jkm7680)
11/09/2015 at 20:13 • Filed to: None

Mercedes S500 with 200,000 miles

Busted air suspension

Shitty exterior

Interior appears to have some sort of bodily fluid caked on the dashboard and steering wheel, amongst other parts. Either that or flood damage, the reason the car doesn’t run is apparently an “electrical issue” so I wouldn’t doubt that being true.

Doesn’t start or run

$3,500???!?!??!?!?! I’d say the scrapyard is the only place where this thing should be going.

https://baltimore.craigslist.org/cto/5297616909…

DISCUSSION (40)

MLGCarGuy > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 20:16

Kinja'd!!!

You’re gonna pass up on the rare moon cheese steering wheel option?

jkm7680 > MLGCarGuy
11/09/2015 at 20:16

Ewwwww, I honestly can’t tell what all of the fluids are that are on everything in there. It literally looks like somebody exploded or something inside of that car.

MLGCarGuy > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 20:18

Maybe a soda can exploded? I honestly don’t know, but it’s only in the driver area.

jkm7680 > MLGCarGuy
11/09/2015 at 20:19

It looks a little too viscous to be an exploded soda. It looks like something else.

Urambo Tauro > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 20:21

Pretty sure that’s mold on the steering wheel, judging by the pattern. It probably hasn’t been driven in a while; I think I see a layer of dust on the hood.

Nibby > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 20:21

lol @ suspension

jkm7680 > Urambo Tauro
11/09/2015 at 20:21

Gross, that’s what led me to believe that it was probably flood damage.

jkm7680 > Nibby
11/09/2015 at 20:21

#Stancenation

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 20:23

16 new spark plugs? 2 per cylinder?

MLGCarGuy > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 20:24

In that case, I don’t want to know what it is…might be a case of what Top Gear discovered during the forensics test.

jkm7680 > MLGCarGuy
11/09/2015 at 20:25

From the BMW convertible test, haha.

davedave1111 > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 20:28

What’s it worth if you part it out? Stuff like doors and lights for those can be worth a fair bit even if the rest of the car is fucked.

jkm7680 > davedave1111
11/09/2015 at 20:30

Probably $2,300 max. The entire car looks relatively trashed.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 20:33

Huh. Especially when I can get this for the same price

http://tampa.craigslist.org/hil/cto/530037…

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 20:33

Kinja'd!!!

Christmas tree mode adds 1600 dollars to value

Plz Tarvarish repost this

jkm7680 > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
11/09/2015 at 20:35

You could literally get hundreds of pages worth of better cars for the same price as that completely ruined silver car, haha.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 20:43

Kinja'd!!!

That wheel has the yelper special

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 20:50

“Doesn’t start but everything works fine.”

A car starting, running, driving, etc., all seem to be subsets of “everything” to me. But hey.

Saracen > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 20:52

Crack Pipe all day.

My dad finally sold his 2000 S500 for $2700. He kept the car in tip top mechanical shape, it was immaculately clean inside and out and came with the AMG body kit and the wide AMG monobloc wheels.

He’ll never get $3500 for a non-running car that looks so disgusting.

Dunnik > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 20:53

Kinja'd!!!

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/09/2015 at 20:56

Everything works fine... except the starter... and air suspension....and ignition... and the battery...and since I can’t start it possibly the transmission..and the brakes..and most electronics... but yeah, works fine

thatm3guy > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 21:04

$3500?! Are you sure he didn’t mean $350?

945T > CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist)
11/09/2015 at 21:08

Tavarish would totally recommend some hopeless POS like this.

ranwhenparked > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 21:18

Coming Soon to the Front Page: “You Can Buy This POS Mercedes S500 for the Price of a 2002 Daewoo Leganza”.

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > 945T
11/09/2015 at 21:25

Only needs about 20k of work!

945T > CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist)
11/09/2015 at 21:29

But it was $125,000 new!

Dy-no-mite Jay > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/09/2015 at 21:40

I think when you buy a used Mercedes, you buy it for the features and do you can sore visitors the Mercedes in your garage. You don’t expect the car to actual run. At least I wouldn’t. That’s the Power of German engineering.

Dy-no-mite Jay > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 21:43

I think what you’re seeing on the interior is the plague.

This isn’t CP, this dude’s on some Walter White grade meth here.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 21:53

This is Tavarish’s idea of what everyone should buy and meticulously hand-restore to like-new condition.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 23:03

Pretty sure he means that he will give you $3500 to take it away. I don’t see how that could possibly be interpreted any differently because there is no way in hell anyone will actually give him money for it at all, let alone $3500.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 23:12

Just looked at the pictures again, there is a child next to this car in one of them. Someone needs to call child protective services because that car is a rolling disease factory and letting a child within spitting distance of it is endangerment.

/sarcasm. sort of.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > jkm7680
11/09/2015 at 23:57

edgewood does look pretty close to sea level

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Edg…

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero
11/10/2015 at 02:33

Yes, that’s correct. My W210 needed 12 for it’s 3 valve-per-cylinder V6, and the V8 followed the same design path. That V6 (and probably the V8 as well) also required premium fuel and Mobil1. For a base 215HP V6. Yes, it is as ridiculous as it sounds.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > jkm7680
11/10/2015 at 02:35

It was probably a crime scene at one time. Just don’t ask a lot of questions, OK?

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > jkm7680
11/10/2015 at 03:04

Allow me to dissect this advertisement

German made, Imported mercedes benz 2001 s500 series .

So, Edgewood, Harford county is not in Germany? I guess that explains the ‘Imported’ part. And the model is an S500, one of the S-Class models. BMWs have series, Mercedes-Benzes have classes.

Alot of mechanical work has been put into the car as follows:

‘Alot’ is not a word, but allot is. Not that it would be the right word to use here... (sorry - one of my pet peeves, like people pronouncing dissect as DIE-sect- there are two s’es in that word, so it’s pronounced like diss-SECT, at least in the US. The UK is a bit different on this, but I’m in the US).

Conductor plate replaced, Crankshaft position sensor, Both starters replaced,

Conductor plate? I’d never heard of such a thing, and I’m a trained mechanic. Apparently it’s something in the transmission, so you learn something new every day. What can I say? I’m a manual transmission die-hard and haven’t worked on an automatic, even in training.

But two starters? Where’s the second engine? Are you sure that wasn’t the alternator? Or was that a turbo?

brand new highlights, 16 new spark plugs, new valve cover gasket,

I’m OK with 16 spark plugs since this is one of those weird 3-valve, 2-plug engines from MB, usually requiring premium fuel and Mobil1 for only middling output.

Unlike the starter, there should be two valve cover gaskets on a V8. Why did you cheap out and only replace one of them???

and air body pump. The car will not start up but everything works just fine, over 200k miles. The problem with the car not starting seems to be a small computer error and not a mechanical issue. I just dont have time to figure out the problem, this is gold for a mechanic.

Pyrite, amirite?

$3500 obo.

Hey, dude - the decimal point fell out between the 35 and the 00 - you might want to fix that.

serious inquiries only

Probably the funniest line in the whole ad.

pip bip - choose Corrour > jkm7680
11/10/2015 at 03:31

so when do you take delivery?

jkm7680 > pip bip - choose Corrour
11/10/2015 at 07:23

ew, never

TR3 > Dy-no-mite Jay
11/12/2015 at 07:38

That interior looks to me like something else is going on here. I wouldn’t touch that thing if you gave me $3500. Even with rubber gloves and a hazmat suit I still don’t wan’t to get that close to bodily fluids most often found in porno theaters.

TR3 > jkm7680
11/12/2015 at 07:44

Kinja'd!!!

I, sorry, did not anyone see the condition listing as “good”? What is everyone complaining/worrying about?

pjhusa > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)
11/15/2015 at 12:01

Am I scarred for life?

I'm scarred for life.